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Things that women wish men knew

Okay guys, pay attention. We have been polling women everywhere to compile the ultimate NiceGuys.org list of Things Women Wish Men Knew.

While we can't guarantee that these are universal truths that apply to every woman, it's sure a good start. As a further disclaimer, please be aware that this list is compiled from suggestions made by several individual women who do not claim to be experts in anything except their own opinions, and is unapologetically politically incorrect.

Ladies, we'd love to have your contributions and suggestions. The more help you can give us NiceGuys, the better off we'll all be.

In no particular order...

Things that women wish men knew

  • It's ok to kiss on the first date
    Now, some of us are more comfortable with this than others, but overall, we've found that a guy who wants to give you a nice polite kiss goodnight is actually interested. Knowing that is way cooler than wondering if he's ever going to call again. If a goodnight kiss, or a peck on the cheek doesn't seem appropriate, go for the hug. Most everybody's ok with that.

  • We really don't mind if you open doors and pull out chairs
    Actually, we kind of like it. It's not that we aren't capable of doing it ourselves, but it's nice to see that a guy's got manners.

  • You don't always have to pay for everything
    Not that we mind, per say, but we don't expect you to bankrupt yourself taking us out all the time. Any woman who really does expect her guy to bankroll their every excursion is what we here at Dating Insider call a Princess. Princesses are a whole separate topic. Most of us are fully independent women who don't mind sharing the tab or trading off who pays for a date each time.

  • Not calling when you said you'd call is the kiss of death
    Unless you've got a really good excuse, and call soon afterwards to apologize, you've got problems. A guy who says he'll call you "tomorrow" and doesn't call for 6 days or something has already been written off. Sure, we all get busy and have lives, but if you're really interested in someone but swamped, take 5 minutes, call, let her know you're slammed at work or whatever, but that you wanted to say hi. She'll appreciate it.

  • You don't have to wait 3 days after the first date to call
    We've all heard this rule...that if you call the next day, you're desperate. Yeah, right. What ends up happening is that you sit around for three days wondering if it's ok to pick up the phone yet without scaring her off, and we sit around agonizing to our friends about whether or not you're interested because we have no way of knowing. If you really want to call someone, call them.

  • It's ok to leave a toothbrush and deodorant at our place
    To put it bluntly: If we've reached the point where we're letting you stay over with any regularity, we'd rather make a tiny bit of room for your toiletries than deal with you going without.

  • Sometimes, we just need to talk about it
    Whether it's work, a family problem, our best friend's breakup...sometimes we just need to discuss it. That doesn't mean we expect you to fix it, or have all the answers, we just need to talk about it. Accept that, say "uh huh" at the appropriate moments, and let us work through it. Men tend to lean toward "fixing" things, and view communication in that sense. Sometimes that frustrates us even more than we were in the first place.

  • Sometimes, enough is enough!
    Ok...we're talking about sex now. While it's really admirable that you want to please your partner, sometimes, it just ain't gonna happen for us. Learn to recognize those subtle (or not-so-subtle) signs that we're ready to be done now, and that another half hour of work on your part won't change anything except to leave us in dire pain for the next week. It's no blow to your sexual ego or insult to your prowess in the sack. We appreciate the effort. We really do.

  • We love flowers
    And back rubs.

  • Money
    We don't care how much money you make, where you got your MBA or how much your stock options are worth. Most of us care that we've found a nice guy, who treats us well, with ambition and the desire to make something out of his life, whether it's your dream to be CEO or to manage the garden department at our local WalMart. As long as you can support yourself, and don't expect us to carry you, that's all fine and dandy. Those that do have some obsession with your stock portfolio and your 401k are, once again, Princesses. Beware. The other side of this is that harping on your company's IPO prospects or flaunting your Harvard MBA are more likely to make us think you're shallow, materialistic or have no thoughts of anything but work and greed. Blech.

  • The toilet seat thing really does matter
    If you're at your place, we won't bitch. But when you're in our home, put the seat down, willya? At 3 am, most of us don't check.

  • We're terrified of meeting your mother
    Be gentle.

  • In girl-speak, "cute" is a good thing
    We've seen men go into full-body convulsions at this word. If we say you're cute, be very impressed.

  • Some of us have lots of male friends
    Our best buds that we spend all our dateless Saturday nights with are not a threat. You have to figure, if we wanted to date them, we would have done it already. Don't go into jealous mode just because there's a male voice on the answering machine or something. Get the facts straight before you lose sleep over it.

  • Intelligence is attractive
    Neanderthal generally is not. Save the testosterone bursts for when you're out with your friends, please.

Send me your ideas for things that you find have helped.


All materials © Copyright 2007 - Clint Zehner
If you are interested in reprinting any of the materials on this site, please contact me.

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