Things that women wish men knew
Okay guys, pay attention. We have been polling women everywhere to
compile the ultimate NiceGuys.org list of Things Women Wish Men Knew.
While we can't guarantee that these are universal truths that apply
to every woman, it's sure a good start. As a further disclaimer,
please be aware that this list is compiled from suggestions made by
several individual women who do not claim to be experts in anything
except their own opinions, and is unapologetically politically
Ladies, we'd love to have your contributions
and suggestions. The more help you can give us NiceGuys, the better
off we'll all be.
In no particular order...
Things that women wish men knew
- It's ok to kiss on the first date
Now, some of us are more comfortable with this than others, but
overall, we've found that a guy who wants to give you a nice
polite kiss goodnight is actually interested. Knowing that is
way cooler than wondering if he's ever going to call again. If
a goodnight kiss, or a peck on the cheek doesn't seem appropriate,
go for the hug. Most everybody's ok with that.
- We really don't mind if you open doors and pull out chairs
Actually, we kind of like it. It's not that we aren't capable of
doing it ourselves, but it's nice to see that a guy's got manners.
- You don't always have to pay for everything
Not that we mind, per say, but we don't expect you to bankrupt
yourself taking us out all the time. Any woman who really does
expect her guy to bankroll their every excursion is what we here
at Dating Insider call a Princess. Princesses are a whole separate
topic. Most of us are fully independent women who don't mind sharing
the tab or trading off who pays for a date each time.
- Not calling when you said you'd call is the kiss of death
Unless you've got a really good excuse, and call soon afterwards
to apologize, you've got problems. A guy who says he'll call you
"tomorrow" and doesn't call for 6 days or something has
already been written off. Sure, we all get busy and have lives,
but if you're really interested in someone but swamped, take
5 minutes, call, let her know you're slammed at work or whatever,
but that you wanted to say hi. She'll appreciate it.
- You don't have to wait 3 days after the first date to call
We've all heard this rule...that if you call the next day, you're
desperate. Yeah, right. What ends up happening is that you sit
around for three days wondering if it's ok to pick up the phone
yet without scaring her off, and we sit around agonizing to our
friends about whether or not you're interested because we have
no way of knowing. If you really want to call someone, call them.
- It's ok to leave a toothbrush and deodorant at our place
To put it bluntly: If we've reached the point where we're letting
you stay over with any regularity, we'd rather make a tiny bit of
room for your toiletries than deal with you going without.
- Sometimes, we just need to talk about it
Whether it's work, a family problem, our best friend's
breakup...sometimes we just need to discuss it. That doesn't
mean we expect you to fix it, or have all the answers, we just
need to talk about it. Accept that, say "uh huh" at
the appropriate moments, and let us work through it. Men tend
to lean toward "fixing" things, and view communication
in that sense. Sometimes that frustrates us even more than we
were in the first place.
- Sometimes, enough is enough!
Ok...we're talking about sex now. While it's really admirable that
you want to please your partner, sometimes, it just ain't gonna
happen for us. Learn to recognize those subtle (or not-so-subtle)
signs that we're ready to be done now, and that another half hour
of work on your part won't change anything except to leave us in
dire pain for the next week. It's no blow to your sexual ego or
insult to your prowess in the sack. We appreciate the effort. We
- We love flowers
And back rubs.
We don't care how much money you make, where you got your MBA or
how much your stock options are worth. Most of us care that we've
found a nice guy, who treats us well, with ambition and the desire to
make something out of his life, whether it's your dream to be CEO or
to manage the garden department at our local WalMart. As long as you
can support yourself, and don't expect us to carry you, that's all
fine and dandy. Those that do have some obsession with your stock
portfolio and your 401k are, once again, Princesses. Beware. The
other side of this is that harping on your company's IPO prospects
or flaunting your Harvard MBA are more likely to make us think you're
shallow, materialistic or have no thoughts of anything but work and
- The toilet seat thing really does matter
If you're at your place, we won't bitch. But when you're in our home,
put the seat down, willya? At 3 am, most of us don't check.
- We're terrified of meeting your mother
- In girl-speak, "cute" is a good thing
We've seen men go into full-body convulsions at this word. If we say
you're cute, be very impressed.
- Some of us have lots of male friends
Our best buds that we spend all our dateless Saturday nights with are
not a threat. You have to figure, if we wanted to date them, we would
have done it already. Don't go into jealous mode just because there's
a male voice on the answering machine or something. Get the facts
straight before you lose sleep over it.
- Intelligence is attractive
Neanderthal generally is not. Save the testosterone bursts for when
you're out with your friends, please.
Send me your ideas for things that you find