The Program: Step 3 - Solutions

Type 1 Solutions
You don't meet any women

Okay, I'm going to take a breath now. Normally I couldn't get away with saying what I just said, but if you're reading this, you're sitting at your computer. You've probably heard the phrase, "It (finding someone) will happen when you're not looking for it." Think about the people who use the phrase. They're almost entirely women right? In our society, ON AVERAGE (standard disclaimer, now quit bothering me), women are passive and men are active in looking for relationships.

Think of a relationship in economic terms, women have things that you want: the ability to provide you with attention, love, stability, excitement, sex, etc. What can you provide? Are you rich? Many of women are doing quite well...they don't need your money. Good looking? So are a lot of guys. Smart? A lot of smart guys have no social skills (look at the way I write, I could use some help in that area).

What do you have that she would want? You need to get out and find something that will give you an edge over your competition...and they're starting from a point several moves ahead.

If you're at stage one, sit down and take a breath. Don't. Try. To. Date. Put simply, you're not ready. Don't plan on asking someone out for the next six months. You need time to get in shape for dating, kind of like any physical competition.

Your first goal is to get out and do something. Almost anything. Spend two hours a day outside doing something somewhat physical. Without the laptop, cell phone, pager, whatever. Take a walk to the local park, take up jogging, go to the beach, play softball with some friends. Something. Anything. Whatever gets you out of your home or office.

Your second goal is to find something that makes you different, that you can use and that you enjoy even if it doesn't get you the girls. If you've always wanted to try, learn to paint or sketch...and go down to the beach and practice. If you get good, you'll meet women who are curious. If you're not good, guess what, you may still meet women who are curious and you can talk to them about how you've always wanted to learn and now you are.

Or, if you're not ready to be that active, but like art, go to a museum and study the various paintings. If you see someone you want to get to know, ask her what she thinks.

My first choice though is to take ballroom dance lessons (private if you can afford them). This sounds kind of dweebish at first, but think about it, if you're taking lessons, you're getting physical contact with women up-close-and-personal. If you practice, it doesn't take much to know more than your average Joe.

Send me your ideas for things that you find have helped.