Assumptions
General Advice
Your Problem

Problem Types
Type I
Type II
Type III
Type IV
Type V

The Program: Step 2 - Your Problem

For a simple way to look at nice guys' dating problems, they break down into five possible types. They also seem to build on each other, after you solve your "type 2" dating problems, you may have "type 3" dating problems. On the other hand, you may not.

Dating Problem Types

You don't meet any women.
You don't meet any women you're interested in.
You meet women that you're interested in, but they're not interested in you at all.
You meet women that you're interested in, but they're not interested in you "that way."
You meet women that you're interested in, they're interested in you, but they end up thinking of you as "a great, great" friend.

Read through the following list until you see your problem defined, then click on the "That Sounds Like Me" link. That will take you to the solutions page with general information and links to advice on your specific problem.

Type 1 Problem: You don't meet any women

If you're not meeting any women, then you're not getting out. Period. I just moved out of Silicon Valley, an area notorious for dating difficulties, and even there I always met women.

Type 2 Problem: You don't meet any women you're interested in

There are a number of reasons why you may not be meeting women you're interested in:

You're not getting out enough.
You're going to the wrong places when you go out.
You don't have "common" (popular) interests.
You're being too picky.
You may be clinically depressed.

Type 3 Problem: You meet women that you're interested in, but they're not interested in you at all

This is not a common problem for most nice guys, but it does happen.

The reasons for this are often fairly obvious:

You're lacking in social skills.
You don't dress well.
You're physically unattractive.
You're short.
You have emotional problems.
You have habits that women don't like. (You smoke/drink too much, etc.)
Poor hygiene.

It sounds like I'm being nasty and I apologize. However, if you think of yourself as a "nice guy" and other people agree then chances are that, even if you don't have a social life and dates, women will at least be willing to talk to you.

Type 4 Problem: You meet women that you're interested in, but they're not interested in you "that way"

This is one of the most common problems for nice guys...and one of the most difficult to solve. This is where I'm going to be spending most of my efforts.

Signs that this is your problem include having heard phrases such as:

"I think of you as a great, great friend."
"I don't think of you that way."
"You're so sweet."
"You're too nice."
"I thought you were gay."

Type 5 Problem: You meet women that you're interested in, they're interested in you, but they end up thinking of you as "a great, great" friend.

Type 5 is something of an addendum to Type 4.

Signs that this is your problem include:

Not making it to the fourth date.
"I had a great time, but I'm sort of seeing this other guy..."

* Note: If none of those problems seem to describe the problem you're having, contact me and we'll see what we can figure out. Until then take a look at our General Advice page.

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